Romance on Hadahaa's Reef

 Flying into the Maldives on my own is fun for two reasons; to view the intricate web of islands and coral reefs from the air is incredible, but even more entertaining are the sympathetic looks I receive from honeymooning couples. I hear whispers of “Poor girl, obviously been jilted at the altar” - it’s even better if I encourage the rumours with dramatic sniffs. The Maldives is a country where things are made for two; there’s exquisite luxury, absolute privacy and the seductive sound of lapping waves on deserted beaches. It’s therefore a challenge not to fall in love. In this remote part of the world, romance is big business.

Underwater, the fish are similarly one-track-minded and their agenda goes something like this:

1. Find food
2. Prevent oneself from becoming food
3. Mate

By human standards, reef animals have some pretty wild habits. There is a particular penchant for sex-change, multiple partners and erotic mating rituals that can leave one or both parties quite severely injured.

Switching from girl to boy is particularly widespread amongst Parrotfish. Transsexual Parrotfish are easy to spot snorkeling on the house reef as they change not only their sexual capabilities, but also their skin, adorning themselves with a brilliant array of rainbow colours. Although some are born male, others have a go later in life, thus becoming a “super-male”. These “super-males” are the leaders of the pack; older and therefore larger than their original counterparts they can easily dominate and outcompete when it comes to winning the hearts of the ladies. Unfortunately for some, bigger really is better. This phenomenon known as sequential hermaphroditism makes sense; the number of babies a female can parent is limited by the number of eggs she can produce and store, a male on the other hand can father millions given half a chance so having that chance is of the upmost importance.

Sharks are a frequent visitor of this atoll and as you would imagine, they like it rough. Females have had to develop thicker skin to counter the male’s habit of biting their fins or neck during the act. Despite this, they can still look pretty battered and bruised after a round of mating. Thankfully the ladies can store packets of sperm for as long as a year to avoid having to go through this ordeal too regularly.

The prize of the kinkiest behaviour surely belongs to the Persian Carpet Flatworm (Pseudobiceros bedfordi) which we spotted on a dive recently. As simultaneous hermaphrodites they have the reproductive organs of both sexes, so when they meet with a lover they have to decide who will be male and who the female that day. It’s not an easy decision to make. The two worms fight each other for the privilege of being the boy; each is armed with not one, but two razor sharp penises which are brandished like swords. They dual with their penises until one manages to impale the other, injecting the sperm into any part of the body. The sperm then swims around the body of the victim in search of eggs to fertilize, and so the deed is done. Luckily the worms are capable of rapid repair and can patch up any holes within a day. 

At the other end of the spectrum is the Coral Rabbitfish. Much more romantic than the philandering Parrotfish, they find themselves a life partner when they are only 7cm long. Once in a committed relationship they remain inseparable, growing together, quadrupling their size and mating at the same time each year under the light of the full moon. An elongated snout that resembles puckered lips has helped to strengthen their reputation as a fish in love, a favourite with our honeymooning holidaymakers. 

Romantic Rabbitfish